Today's post title is a quote often credited to Dr. Phil. However, it's a question I've only recently begun to understand. It's making a huge difference in my life, and just maybe it'll help a few of you.
I'm a right-fighter and grew up in a whole family of right-fighters. Whatever the cost, if we're right we'll fight down to our last ounce of energy to prove a point. We're little trial lawyers always on the side of justice! But now it's time to define the value of justice: It accomplishes nothing to prove a point if the energy and pain of the process cost more than the accomplishment of winning.
On a large scale in terms of Facebook, here's a perfect example. I was just on an IM with a photographer who was frustrated over a thread on a blog post on Facebook Wedding Photographers. I'm an administrator of this 36,000+ member group.
An image was posted that demonstrated one of the challenges in photographing a wedding - he made some suggestions and was slammed by a few people who wanted to flex a little and act like trolls. He did the right thing - he pulled his comments and stepped out of the conversation - obviously recognizing that trying to be helpful was a waste of energy in this discussion.
People aren't always this way in the forum. Most of the time there's a reasonable exchange of ideas and helpful suggestions, but there are some of you out there who feel your opinion is the ONLY one that matters. You'll argue the point, waste time, and energy on something that just doesn't matter - you know a moo-point, things that cows think that nobody cares about. (One of the all-time great lines from Joey on Friends.)
The bottom line is, there are times when it will accomplish nothing to explain yourself, argue a point, and waste energy talking to somebody who doesn't want to listen. And if you're a right-fighter, it's so hard to walk away. Trust me on this though - when you step away, that smile on your face comes back along with your creativity and energy! For me...I'd be rather be happy than right!
Stay away from negative people. They have a problem for every solution.
Wishing everybody a terrific Tuesday and plenty of time with the positive people in your life.
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