Tears and Smiles...

by Skip Cohen

What I love most about Seth Resnick's Facebook posts is they're always so relatable. This past week, he shared the post below about losing his Dad. Just to say it "hit home" would be a huge understatement.

Time does heal wounds, but the scars don't go away, and they shouldn't. Like Seth, I lost my Dad seven years ago this month. While we lost my Mom, physically a few years earlier, Alzheimer's robbed us many years before.  But Dad never slowed down being by her side and fighting to savor each random lucid moment of joy. 

And with me, through all of life's challenges, he was always my best buddy. He was always there for me, and I miss the conversations, stories and especially the laughs. I love those memories of him laughing. Something would hit him that was so funny, he'd laugh until the tears started to roll. I have so many wonderful memories that bring the smiles and the tears.

Just like Seth, there are things that catch me off guard and a tear appears...usually it's something outrageously simple. For example, seeing the snow storms back east on the news this week, got me thinking about our gas grill when I was a kid.

We had a hard-wired gas grill. With that first snow storm in November, Dad was surprised. "Look at that - there's a 12 foot circle around the grill where the snow didn't stick!" It was then he realized the grill had been on low since Labor Day! Remember, this is back when gas was cheap and I don't think he ever noticed the tiny spike in the bill.  

It's the memories, combined with those old photographs that gives those loved ones we've lost their immortality. And to quote Seth...Tears and a smile.

​Wishing everybody a terrific day ahead.  Take the time to appreciate not only the people you love who are here for you, but those who are no long around for those eleven-second therapeutic hugs. But here's the thing, they are around in your heart, and they are watching over you. The tears are simply gateways to memories and smiles.

Happy Sunday or Monday on the other side of the world.

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​My heart and mind are in a myriad of thought pointing back to Japan. It was 7 years ago that I was teaching a workshop in Japan and received a call that my dad who was healthy died in his sleep. When my father died, I tried so hard to be strong and show everybody how resilient and tough I was but that act doesn’t last. Pushing the pain below the surface so no one can see it is exhausting. We take a lot of strength from our parents, so when you lose one of them, it’s crushing.

Sometimes, you will be doing OK and managing your grief, when something catches you off guard. And then suddenly a surge of powerful emotion hits you like a tidal wave.

​For me I think the most challenging times have been when something has reminded me of my dad. The difference seven years later is my tears well up but so does a smile. It is a beautiful experience and I think about both my mom and dad and then I am OK until it happens again.

Someday’s I think I should be past this by now and I don’t know why I still cry at random times, all these years later but it is ok. As I am writing this it becomes one of those moments. Tears and a smile.

I miss my parents so much but I am I’m grateful they both touched my life in such a powerful and beautiful way.
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Love you DAD!

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