A Monday Dose of Sarcasm

© kentoh

Over they years I've gotten my fair share of scam letters from Nigeria. Back in my Hasselblad days they'd come on old-fashioned overseas light blue "air mail" tissue paper. We'd collect them and laugh about the millions of dollars we could collect if we'd just give them Hasselblad's bank numbers!

Well, it's time I performed a public service and helped our friends in Nigeria. I got the email below yesterday and I'm saddened that in twenty years, the ability for scam artists to raise the bar on their grammar hasn't improved.

Hello dear
my nane is stella desmond, i got your contact on facebook,please i want to discus something very important with you reply me back With my email address
hope to hear from you
best reagard

So, to Stella Desmond...a few suggestions:

• Learn to spell or at least use spell check. Then spend a little money and join grammarly.com.
• You might want to change your name. Using Stella Desmond sounds too much like a cross between an old Hollywood film star, "I'm ready for my close-up Mr DeMille" and a cookie (Stella D'oro).
• A capital letter here and there is a nice thing. Try holding down the shift key at the start of a sentence. There's one on both sides of the keyboard.  
• Sending a personal note out to "undisclosed recipients" is a dead give away that you're a crook. Be creative and take the time to personalize your messages. 

Last on the list, you might want to simply look for a new career. Seriously, you're not very good at this and one trip to Google with your email and it comes up on dozens of scam sites! 

Meanwhile, I do have to thank you. I needed to start the day with a little sarcasm this morning and your stupidity gave me a great topic to write about.