Happiness is a Journey, Not a Destination... For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way. Something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one. Souza by Skip Cohen
The wisdom above is from a refrigerator magnet that's been on my whiteboard for many years. I know I shared it in a post or two over ten years ago, but it deserves to be shared again. So many of us waste time looking for happiness, when all along it's right there in front of us. Sometimes, it's hidden under the emotional baggage we all carry around. Most of the time, if you haven't found happiness, you just haven't looked hard enough. It's January and in most parts of the country it's the "slow season." So, while you're working on your plans for the year ahead, this is the perfect time to think about your journey and make sure it's running on being happy. You can't create images that tug at people's heartstrings if your own heart isn't in it. Wishing everybody a great week ahead.
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by Skip Cohen In my first Reflections post of the new year last Sunday I wrote about optimism being a dying art. I pledged my loyalty to Alfred E. Neuman's school of "What, me worry?" and stated I was pushing Chicken Little out on his ass! I thought I was on solid ground as a full-fledged cheerleader for humanity in the year ahead, but then the fires broke out in the Palisades, where I loved living for just over seven years. The fires haven't broken my goal as a cheerleader for humanity, but it's getting harder and harder to find the "silver lining." I've been obsessed with the fires, worrying about old neighbors, watching the news several times each day, and following the fire maps. Then, just as they seemed to be getting things more under control, the Santa Ana winds changed direction and picked up—it was back to square one. The winds have picked up, and the fire is headed toward other densely populated communities, such as Brentwood. The level of tragedy keeps ramping up with little end in sight as the finger-pointing stories in the news get more and more senseless. But through all of the chaos, I couldn't be more proud of our industry because it's imaging that's kept the world in touch with the tragedy. From video to still images like the one above, photojournalism has been working overtime to bring us the story. And while I feel like I'm trapped in a movie I just don't want to see, the impact of each story is heightened by the human elements of courage and dedication from thousands of firefighters and first responders. One of the early stories from the Palisades fire showed firefighters helping to salvage personal belongings from homes before they were completely lost, and photo albums were at the top of the pile of salvaged items. That got Sheila and I talking about what we'd do if we lost everything. We've had the conversation before as Hurricanes Helene and Milton rolled through Florida. I'm still not sure what we'd do, where we would go, or if we'd rebuild, etc. That conversation is now a reality for thousands of homeowners in California, many without fire insurance! I apologize for this rambling rant this morning. I'm not sure what my point is beyond my frustration and sadness about not being able to do much to help old friends and neighbors in the Palisades. However, there are plenty of ways to help. Click on the image to the right, and it will link to the story on Instagram. Wishing everybody a safe and peaceful day ahead. Take the time to consider what you'd do if your future was suddenly altered and you lost everything you own in some sort of disaster. Think about the heartbreak and how the value of your memories would go beyond priceless. Then find somebody you love and go for those eleven-second hugs I've written about every Sunday for the last ten years! Make it a great Sunday or Monday on the other side of the world. And to everyone in southern California, our prayers and thoughts are with you. by Skip Cohen This is a strange post to write on Throwback Thursday. Normally, my Throwback posts are upbeat and rarely tied to current events. But watching the news this week and the fires in southern California, while they brought back some great memories, they're based on a foundation of destruction. I lived in Pacific Palisades for seven years when I was with Rangefinder/WPPI. It's one of the most beautiful places I've ever lived and holds many wonderful memories. But it's a very strange feeling watching the news and seeing your old street on fire, as well as the entire town center where I spent so much time. Living in the Sarasota area and dealing with the destruction from three hurricanes last year, combined with the horrific devastation in Asheville, I really thought I'd seen just about everything...until the news this week. In fact, for years, while I've empathized with people dealing with Mother Nature's horrible destruction around the world, it's never hit me as hard as the fires in California right now. The picture up top was from the back deck of my condo in Pacific Palisades. "June Gloom" with the marine layer would roll in and sit in the valley, but we were always above it. We overlooked the dog park, where Molly the Wonder Dog grew up, shown below. There was a fire road for those of us near the top of the mountain, but it was on fire, so the only way out was down Palisades Dr. I'm sure most of my old neighbors drove right into the traffic jam, where we saw bulldozers clearing cars on the news! While there's no confirmation yet that my old neighborhood has been destroyed, I texted my next-door neighbor from back then. She sent me the pic to the right, taken as they fought through traffic trying to leave the Palisades and get to safety on Tuesday. The likelihood that anything survived in the area is slim, and my heart goes out to old friends and neighbors who have lost so much. We're sending prayers and positive thoughts to everyone caught in the tragedy. I can't imagine the pain of loss they're all feeling, but when it hits this close to home, especially the street where you live, it's impossible not to be affected. Empathy has no script.
There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It's simply listening, holding space, withholding judgement, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of "You're not alone." Brené Brown “It’s income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta.” Dave Barry by Skip Cohen It's Hump Day, and while it might be considered by most to be the slow season in photography, it's not the slow season for the operating side of your business. NOW is the time to start the scavenger hunt for everything you spent money on in 2024. DON'T WAIT UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE! I'm always amazed at how many small business owners, especially photographers, don't take the time to review all the costs involved in running their business. I am not an accountant, but here's a list of things you should review so you don't miss anything when you're doing your taxes! In addition, here are a couple of areas people don't always realize or simply forget:
Here's my point - we're all stuck paying taxes. Don't wait until the last minute to determine what you owe. And if you don't have the skills to understand tax law, then get yourself an accountant. You've worked too hard to pay more than what's actually due! “You must pay taxes. But there’s no law that says you gotta leave a tip.”
Morgan Stanley “Dear IRS, I am writing to you to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list.” Snoopy (Charles Schultz) “Statistics suggest that when customers complain, business owners and managers ought to get excited about it. The complaining customer represents a huge opportunity for more business.” Zig Ziglar by Skip Cohen It's the first Marketing Monday post of the new year, and while typically my posts are more photo-centric, today's applies to EVERY business, not just professional photographers. This is the time of year when many of you are still working to resolve customer service issues related to business left over from the holidays. Great customer service is your not-so-secret weapon for building a stronger brand and separating yourself from your competitors, and it doesn't matter what business you're in! Too many of you think unhappy customers are a curse—the dark side of owning a business. In reality, they're an outstanding asset if treated right! Not treated right, unhappy customers have the potential to influence thousands of people through their social media and personal reach. It's time to stop being afraid of angry customers. Remember, you've got two ears and one mouth, so listen twice as much as you talk!
You can modify the opener any way you want, but the defusing line is "How can I help?" Another one to use is "Let's see if I can help fix this for you." Your goal is to demonstrate empathy, kick back, be quiet, and listen. Challenges with unhappy customers will happen as long as you're in business. Here are some suggestions to help you build a stronger brand and a reputation for integrity, empathy, and GREAT service.
Here's a perfect example, which I know I've shared in past posts. Living in the Chicago area years ago, we tried carry-out from a new Chinese restaurant. Halfway through dinner, we found a small dead cockroach in the fried rice. I immediately packaged everything back up and stormed back to the restaurant for a refund. Instead of immediately apologizing and handling my request, the owner complained that the rice was already half-eaten! She then wanted to give me a gift certificate to come back! Obviously, we never ate there again, but to try and argue with me about the merits of their food at that point was far from realistic. Remember, one angry customer today can turn into a troll and undermine your credibility throughout the community. And the community, especially in cyberspace, goes far beyond your city limits. On the other hand, a satisfied customer who feels you've been on their side and working towards solving the problem will help build a foundation for future business. "Your customer doesn't care how much you know, until they know how much you care!"
Damon Richards “We can complain because roses have thorns, or rejoice because thorns have roses." Alphonse Karr by Skip Cohen It's my first Reflections post of the new year, and after watching the news last night, I knew exactly what I wanted to right about...the art of optimism! For most of my life, I've been one of those "the glass is half full" kind of guys, but I couldn't wait to close the door on 2024. It was a tough year, and I welcomed '25 with open arms. But with the horrific attack in New Orleans, the continued "Luigi" saga, the CDC warning on flu season ramping up, and an arctic cold front with fifty-seven million people in its path, optimism is getting hard to come by! Just five days into the new year, the world has gone upside down. Chicken Little's proclamation that the sky was falling seems to be jam-packed with foresight and wisdom instead of a kid's folk tale. So, I went off in search of all the things that continue to make me smile and realized it's just a matter of selective focus. It's time to flip the switch to focus confirmation in our brains, just like we have on our cameras and phones. Thanksgiving is ten months away, but I'm not waiting to think about everything I'm grateful for. It all starts with the furnace working this morning as Florida hits temperatures in the forties. Next comes our health; despite both of us creaking for ten minutes when we get up in the morning, we're feeling pretty damn good for old farts. We laugh a lot, even though there are a few rounds of tears here and there. And then there are the two pups, who, even though they're five years old, will always be puppies - they make us laugh and remind us every day of the importance of unconditional love. Here's my point, and it's all explained in my opening quote: Sure, roses have thorns, but how cool is it that thorns have roses? No matter what I might want to complain about, somebody out there has it a whole lot worse. I'm a work in progress, but the art of optimism is all tied to developing an Alfred E. Neuman philosophy about life and then staying true to his "What, me worry?" persona. Yesterday is gone, and we've no control over tomorrow, but we do have today right now! So, I'm throwing Chicken Little out on his ass and giving Alfred E. Neuman power of attorney! Wishing everybody a great day filled with peace, laughter and smiles that are more infectious than anything the CDC warns about. Make it a day to focus on things and people you love. You've got no control over how screwed up the world is, but you do have control over your little piece of life - don't waste it worrying about things you can't control. And ALWAYS go for those eleven-second therapeutic hugs I've been writing about for the last ten years! Happy Sunday...or Monday if you're on the other side of the world. "Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude!"
Zig Ziglar Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you! Anne Lamott by Skip Cohen We're officially into the "slow season." Normally, I suggest that just because business slows down, that doesn't mean you can. At the same time, everyone needs to recharge their battery, and this weekend is the time. But, there's an art to kickin' back...you can only enjoy it if you've got a relatively clear head. That means tying up loose ends, reviewing any deadlines you're chasing, and, in summary - getting the monkey off your back! A clear head sets the tone for relaxing, appreciating your family and friends, and daydreaming a little. What do you want 2025 to look like—not just from a business point of view but also from a personal one? Years ago, I gave up on New Year's resolutions. Instead, I find setting a few goals far more productive. A few times, I've even written them down on my calendar and tracked my progress. Rather than set rigid deadlines for completing specific tasks or projects, if it's personal, I just pick times in the future to check on my progress. Here's my point on this first Friday of the new year - Now is the time to take a short break and do whatever it takes to make your heart soar! This isn't directly about business but building up your attitude for the future. Remember, as artists, you can't create images that tug at people's heartstrings if your heart isn't in it. So, this is the time to take a break, kick back and chill. Smile more, and spend time with the people you appreciate the most, especially yourself! Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for.
Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us. Maya Angelou This is what I like about photographs. They're proof that once, even if just for a heartbeat, everything was perfect. by Skip Cohen It's a new year filled with possibilities. What I love most about Throwback Thursday is the wonder of turning back the clock to a time and world that wasn't filled with so many horrific tragedies. Mining for old memories lives up to author Jodi Picoult's quote above, which I've shared so many times in the past. Over the last few days, I started my annual process of cleaning out the closet in my home office—a daunting task! In the process, I found a large envelope of things my folks had saved over the years. The fun of old photographs is always in the backstory of memories that immediately flow. I found the postcard below. The backstory starts with me being a little introverted as a kid. My parents thought it would help me if I went to an overnight camp for a couple of nights. I was only six, but they, along with a friend's parents in the neighborhood, decided Camp Loretta would be perfect for both of us. What's missing in the card, which from printing my name you can see I never wrote, is that the experience was terrifying. The first night, the counselor told us a ghost story about the Ghost of Camp Loretta who, in the past, came in the window (the one by my bunk) and took one of the kids while they were sleeping. The counselor, as he told the story, lifted his t-shirt, and his back was covered in scars - captured by the Ghost when he was younger. He'd been tied up and whipped. (The scars were probably lipstick streaks, but told in the light of a small flashlight, they sure looked real to little Skippy!) Well, I was in the top bunk, and my friend was in the bottom. In the middle of the night, I was so scared that I climbed down from my top bunk and into bed with my friend Danny. That wouldn't have been an issue, except that I wet HIS bed! That led to the bunk all waking up and the counselor making me take my wet underwear out and hang it on the laundry line at the edge of the woods - where the Ghost was waiting. Miraculously, I didn't die and survived the ordeal. As I looked at the postcard, so much more than just that story came to mind. To start, the card was written by the counselor who planted all the fears! For the next twenty years, I'd sleep with the cover over my head! And for years as a kid, I'd never go into a dark room without making a lot of noise, hopefully giving the Boogie Man time to leave. Fifty years later, I'd catch up to Danny. My buddy and photographer, Arnold Crane, mentioned his name one night when talking about people he was working with. I tracked Danny down, who was then living in Los Angeles, as was I. We grabbed dinner, and I apologized for wetting his bed. His response: "You're kidding me. After all these years, I thought I did it—I was in therapy for years!" There was nothing but laughter that followed. So, here's my point—take the time to start the new year out right, and make Throwback Thursday your day to turn back the clock with a look in your rearview mirror. I'm not suggesting you dwell on the past; just take the time to appreciate it. Plus, old photographs are the perfect way to stay focused on the value of imaging and our ability as an industry to help the world turn the intangible into tangible memories we can hold in our hands forever. Happy Throwback Thursday! by Skip Cohen
One of the great things about living in California when I was with Rangefinder Magazine and WPPI was the time difference. I could go to a New Year's Eve party and still be home by 10:00! At 9:00 pm, we'd watch the ball drop in NYC, celebrate the start of a new year, and go home. Now, living back in the Eastern Time Zone, we're expected to stay up to midnight! LOL Well, while my intentions are focused on staying up, that's why God created the DVR...my bet is that we'll make it to 10:00, maybe even 10:30, and watch the ball drop in the morning. I could be wrong, but past history suggests we'll never make it to midnight. However, one definite event of this New Year's Eve, happening long before midnight, is wishing all of you a happy, healthy, dry, and safe new year! I'm excited about a new year, but that pales to how ecstatic I am to see 2024 come to a close. Even though nothing really changes from one day to the next, it's a time when we all experience an attitude adjustment. A new year always comes with optimism, hope, and a whole lot of smiles. Thank you for your support, feedback, and, with many of you, a very special friendship. Happy New Year, everybody! by Skip Cohen
It's my last Marketing Monday post for 2024. There's not very much you can do to impact the year's sales. However, there are a few loose ends to wrap up and things you can do to secure a stronger business going into the new year.
I'm excited to bring this past year to a close. It was a tough year, and I'll do my best not to look back on it. From dealing with Mother Nature to family and friend health issues to just the world in general, 2024 will not make the Hall of Fame! However, believing that most clouds have a silver lining, the part of 2024 that always felt good was all thanks to you, my readers. Blogging is a labor of love, and thanks to your feedback and support, posting regularly has become so uplifting. Thank you! As the year comes to a close, I want to wish everyone a Happy and healthy new year. Stay safe, dry, and warm. I hope you can celebrate your wave good-bye to '24 with the people most important in your life. Happy New Year! At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent. Barbara Bush by Skip Cohen As I sat here trying to think of what to write about, it hit me—this is my last Sunday Morning Reflections post for 2024. My challenge is trying to understand how the year went by so quickly! While I'm a big fan of looking forward and being focused on today and tomorrow, it's hard to avoid a long look in the rearview mirror. I found myself thinking about how much time I wasted in the past year. How much time did I let slip through my life worrying about things outside my control? How many times was I upset about something that just didn't matter? Sheila has a great expression that I've shared in past posts, "Don't should on yourself!" Put that together with the expression, "Hindsight is always 20/20," and you've got the recipe for thinking like a Monday morning quarterback, which we all become at one time or another. With time often comes clarity, but once time has passed, there's no rewind. But there is a reset button. It's not always easy to find, but somewhere in your heart, it's there. And yes, I know this sounds pretty sappy, but here's my point: Do your best to stop wasting time. Like everybody, I have my share of regrets. I can't turn back the clock, but I can hit the reset button and do my best to learn from past mistakes, leaving room to change my journey. Time is our most valuable commodity - we can't control it; but we maximize its potential by living our best life. Here's a better example as I step into the taboo of including something very personal in today's post. Since my divorce sixteen years ago, I've been estranged from my family...but I had a choice to make - dwell on the past or move forward and create a new life, and family. I chose the latter, and although sprinkled with moments of sadness, with help from Sheila, two pups, and even a therapist here and there, focusing on today and tomorrow became priorities over worrying about yesterday. The key to maintaining a focus on tomorrow is all about forgiveness—possibly the toughest word to define and then incorporate into your life. Forgiveness doesn't have to mean you forget; just let the past be just that—the past. I can't change it, and it doesn't have to define me, but I'm still a work in progress. Wrapping up Reflections for 2024, I only missed one Sunday morning post. Consistent with every post, it has been my wish to you for a day ahead that's spectacular. I hope you make it a day filled with the love you have for the people most important in your life, combined with time to make new memories to appreciate tomorrow. Go for those eleven-second therapeutic hugs I always recommend, and don't waste time worrying about things you forgot to do over the holidays. Happy Sunday...or Monday on the other side of the world! Waste your money and you’re only out of money,
but waste your time and you’ve lost a part of your life. Michael LeBoeuf Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. Barack Obama It takes a long time to become young. Pablo Picasso by Skip Cohen
Whether you're celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa, it's a family time of year and always special. It's a time to make memories with the people who mean the most to you. And here's my reminder: When you're together with older members of your family, DON'T FORGET TO VIDEO THEIR STORIES. I've written a lot about legacy programs and documenting the stories of older relatives before they're no longer with you. Whether with your phone or camera doesn't make a difference. Take the time to corner those senior members of the family over the holidays. Now, take it one step further - if you've got kids in the house - assign them to be the family historians. If they're young, get the camera set up for them - and if they're older, give them some assignments. Stories like, "Sit down with Grandma and Grandpa and ask them how they met." Anything relevant in capturing those beautiful backstories that will disappear when older members of your family pass on. Wishing everybody a wonderful holiday! Thank you for all your support, friendship, and feedback. It hasn't been the easiest year, but it's been one filled with memories, and as sappy as it sounds, it has been filled with a whole lot of love! Happy Holidays! Intro by Skip Cohen Last week, my good buddy Scott Bourne posted the rant below on Facebook, focused on helping new photographers make better choices about their gear. Like virtually any specialty, the imaging world is filled with "experts." And while there are a lot of great educators/influencers out there, I'm always amazed at how many new artists fall for the "clickbait" Scott wrote about. Many years ago, Vincent Laforet spoke at Skip's Summer School. I remember him talking about when he first started and the challenge of capturing the images he wanted when his cash, and in turn, his gear was so limited. "You know what you do when you don't have a lens long enough...you move in closer!" Thirty years ago, when I was at Hasselblad, a photographer came up to us at our booth at Photo East and asked for a list of everything Denis Reggie shot with. We gave him the list and he went immediately to B&H there on the show floor and bought almost all of it. The following year, at the same show, he came by the booth and dropped a few dozen 5x5 proofs on the counter and said, "I bought everything Denis Reggie uses, and my images don't look any better with Hasselblad than they did with my old gear!" He'd shot everything f8 @ 1/125! Here's my point - before you get sucked into buying new gear, which you may well need, take the time to review your skill set. Put your money into your education and building the operational side of your business. And if you need something exotic and expensive, rent it first! Here's one more story: Joe Buissink tells a great story about spending too much money on a tilt/shift lens when he first started. He was convinced it's what he needed to make his work look different. Instead, his purchase tied up capital he could have used for better ways to build his business. Plus, he barely used it and sold it a year or two later for a loss! A big thanks to Scott for permission to share his rant! Scott should be on your radar - click on his link above and follow him on Facebook. He's always got something worth sharing. **A.I. images from Adobe Stock by Scott Bourne
I can think of no greater waste of time than watching the #photography "influencers" talking about their gear. I am sad that new photographers get duped by these people and fall for their click bait.
Here are some additional thoughts...
This is all nonsense and it's all the nonsense you will find on YouTube. No doubt there are some thoughtful, talented people who want to help you there but even then - you're better off just practicing with your camera. All you need to do to improve is this. Just read your camera manual, learn how to operate the camera properly and go make as many photos as you can. You will be twice the photographer any of the YOUTUBE "influencers" are within a year's time. Rant over... by Skip Cohen It's Sunday, and if you've followed me for even the shortest time, you already know I never talk about business when I write Reflections. I also throw caution to the wind when it comes to topics the "experts" say you should never write about. Sunday is my day to get more personal; today is no exception. I want to preface today's post by admitting that I'm a hopeless romantic. I also get a little sappy, especially around the holidays. Fitting right in with that trait, I'm a huge fan of the Story People. I'm sure most of you have seen them, but have you been on their website? Please keep in mind that I'm just a fan and NOT paid or endorsed in any way by this company. But like those times when you find just the right message in a greeting card, the Story People always come through. Sheila and I have been fans since we bought our first one in Laguna, CA, sixteen years ago. Later, discovering their online presence, I started adding to the collection. Each message has resonated with something special in how I feel about our life together and shares a thought that normally would be hard to express. Here's a perfect example: In March, Sheila's brother Randy had a brain aneurysm blow. After surgery and months of rehab, he seemed to be improving and getting better, but passed away in September. There are no words to describe the feeling of being helpless for somebody you care about when there's nothing you can really do to help except be there. I wanted to remind her that I'm so proud she's a warrior and that I've always got her back. Once again, the Story People came through. I added another one to our collection: I see that you are going through a rough time. We have all known such times, when the sky and ground were turned around. No moon to guide us through the dark wood. I see how bravely you take one step after the other and I hold my lantern high, here at the edge of the forest. I am you witness, I am your friend. The journey is yours alone, but you are not alone. It's hopefully been a busy holiday season, and you've probably been short on time to shop for the people you care the most about. This is where The Story People come to the rescue! They have literally hundreds of gift ideas, large and small, that express those feelings that are so often difficult to share. From congratulations to love to condolences and everything in between, they've got us all covered.
Wishing everybody an incredible day ahead. Take the time to think about those special people in your life and how much they give you every day. Their presence is a big part of who you are, and it's great to remind them you'd be a little lost without them. Don't be afraid to get sappy - from spouses to other family members to great friends - let them know how much you love having them in your life. That's also where those eleven-second therapeutic hugs always come in! Happy Sunday...or Monday if you're on the other side of the world. by Skip Cohen
I know I've shared these images several times over the years, but it's holiday time. Like many of you, my thoughts pull me into the time machine, especially regarding my grandparents. At one point as a kid, I was lucky enough to have four grandparents and three great-grandparents still living. And since my grandfather was one of eleven, the holidays were pretty remarkable. The two large portraits are of my grandfather and grandmother on my mother's side. In the middle are my great-grandparents. My grandfather and grandmother's portraits would have been captured around 1920, and my great grandparents' would have been late 1800s. While Throwback Thursday posts are about memories, that's not my main reason for sharing today. Most of you who follow my blog are working or aspiring to be professional photographers. In a world where we've been sucked into instant fulfillment, and classic portraiture seems to be getting more and more rare - there's still nothing like a stunning portrait when the artist understands posing and lighting. I'm so tired of meeting portrait artists who describe themselves as "natural light specialists." Seriously? We all know that means they haven't taken the time to learn studio lighting. And while you can get some of the effects with digital manipulation, there's still nothing like a solid image - "right out of the can!" Beverly and Tim Walden talk a lot about how they don't create portraits but family heirlooms meant to be handed down from generation to generation. You owe each client your very best skills. They trust you to never say, "That's good enough." Think about the portraits you've done over the last few years. Will they stand the test of time and be considered just as beautiful to family members when you're long gone? by Skip Cohen It's the last Hump Day before the holidays, and time to start to loosen up a little! Parts of today's post are from my archives, but what prompted today's topic was a conversation with a reader recently that was simply too serious. Lately, so many people have become over-focused on issues that just don't matter. I'm not saying you should take business challenges lightly, but too many people need to relax a little. I have no idea how my brain works when it comes to my "archives," but the expression "that's so funny, I forgot to laugh" popped into my head. It sent me on a quest to YouTube looking for one of my favorite old SNL skits with Gilda Radner and Bill Murray, which I've shared below. The SNL channel on YouTube is jam-packed with the classics and well worth your time whenever you need a chuckle. Here's my point today - a lot of you need to loosen up. In the photography world, we're coming down to the end of 2024's seasonality, and in the "real world," the major December holidays are a week away. It's time to start to kick back a little, or at least think about it. Stop being so serious about life and your quest for success. Seriously, what good is working to become a great artist if you're not stopping to smell the roses along the way? What good is working this hard if you're missing time with family and friends? When I think of photographers I admire, Tony Corbell immediately comes to mind. You'll never see him without a smile. He deals with the same stress in his life we all do, but it's rare for anyone to hear him say "NO" to helping another photographer because he's too busy. He couldn't be more focused as an artist, but we love him because he's never let the craft overshadow his love for life. So, lighten up! Focus on your business and your clients, but remember to focus on yourself, your family, and your friends too. Don't let your sense of humor get buried under the stress of business. Here's a recipe for success: Laugh more than you worry. Don't lose sight of your goals. Recognize that success isn't just about the bottom line but being happy. Stay in touch with good friends. Accept that you're only one person and can only do so much. Know that everyone makes mistakes. And like Tim McGraw's lyrics of an old song, always stay humble and kind! Happy Hump Day! I hope Todd and Lisa make you smile as they did me this morning! by Skip Cohen When I wrote my blog yesterday, I was very hesitant before hitting "post." Talking about how we react under the stress of a dying loved one isn't a standard topic. It doesn't matter that it's something we all have to deal with at one time or another; we just don't talk about it. I was over-thinking the challenge of sharing a remarkable guest post. Even in the silent rules of social media, death, politics, and religion are all topics the experts suggest we stay clear of. When I read Durgawati Dari's original piece, I immediately wanted to share it. Although I know there are hundreds of books and articles on dealing with the death of a loved one, it's just not something I ever thought about, and life doesn't come with an instruction manual. I made the decision to share the guest post after a long time of thinking about the consequences. Looking back now, I wasted time and energy worrying about what readers might say instead of just trusting my gut and instinct. Today's post is short, and it's simply a thank you for so many positive comments via email, DMs, and even a couple of phone calls. Death isn't something normally on my mind, but with aging comes the loss of parents, other family members, and friends. In the last few weeks, I've lost several good friends. While I wasn't by their side at the moment they passed, I found Durgawati's post helpful in how I've been thinking about their recent deaths. Here's the link if you missed it. One of my favorite quotes is by Alfred Lord Tennyson, "I am a part of all that I have met." It highlights the fact that each loved one we lose is already a part of us. Take a second and think about somebody you've lost close to you. Yes, they're gone physically, but their influence on your life is ALWAYS there. Think of who you are today and have some fun chasing down the roots for things you love to do, expressions you regularly use, or, if you're a foodie, who introduced you to your favorites. Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us every day...
unseen, unheard, but always near, still loved, still missed, and very dear. Saint Diamonds by Skip Cohen Today's Reflections post is miles away from business and marketing but right on target for a challenge each of us has faced or will face at some point. It's a topic people rarely write or talk about. It's also a testimony to one of the benefits of social media: the educational and spiritual side of sharing great information. Lee Estridge and I have been friends for over thirty years. We first met when she used to attend WPPI and I was at Hasselblad. We keep in touch primarily through Facebook. Recently she shared the post below with one statement, "This is powerful and right on in my experience." So, I read it. Posted originally on Empaths and Old Souls by Durgawati Dari, it hit me hard. It's the kind of advice we all need to hear, but rarely do people talk about it. As Lee wrote when she shared it, it's so powerful! by Durgawati Dari (reprinted with permission) Expected Death ~ When someone dies, the first thing to do is nothing. Don't run out and call the nurse. Don't pick up the phone. Take a deep breath and be present to the magnitude of the moment. There's a grace to being at the bedside of someone you love as they make their transition out of this world. At the moment they take their last breath, there's an incredible sacredness in the space. The veil between the worlds opens. We're so unprepared and untrained in how to deal with death that sometimes a kind of panic response kicks in. "They're dead!" We knew they were going to die, so their being dead is not a surprise. It's not a problem to be solved. It's very sad, but it's not cause to panic. If anything, their death is cause to take a deep breath, to stop, and be really present to what's happening. If you're at home, maybe put on the kettle and make a cup of tea. Sit at the bedside and just be present to the experience in the room. What's happening for you? What might be happening for them? What other presences are here that might be supporting them on their way? Tune into all the beauty and magic. Pausing gives your soul a chance to adjust, because no matter how prepared we are, a death is still a shock. If we kick right into "do" mode, and call 911, or call the hospice, we never get a chance to absorb the enormity of the event. Give yourself five minutes or 10 minutes, or 15 minutes just to be. You'll never get that time back again if you don't take it now. After that, do the smallest thing you can. Call the one person who needs to be called. Engage whatever systems need to be engaged, but engage them at the very most minimal level. Move really, really, really, slowly, because this is a period where it's easy for body and soul to get separated. Our bodies can gallop forwards, but sometimes our souls haven't caught up. If you have an opportunity to be quiet and be present, take it. Accept and acclimatize and adjust to what's happening. Then, as the train starts rolling, and all the things that happen after a death kick in, you'll be better prepared. You won't get a chance to catch your breath later on. You need to do it now. Being present in the moments after death is an incredible gift to yourself, it's a gift to the people you're with, and it's a gift to the person who's just died. They're just a hair's breath away. They're just starting their new journey in the world without a body. If you keep a calm space around their body, and in the room, they're launched in a more beautiful way. It's a service to both sides of the veil. I know dealing with death is a dark subject, but this is the first piece I've ever read that puts it in perspective. It's a topic that is eventually familiar to everyone.
Wishing everybody a day ahead filled with nothing but life and as many smiles as you can pack into each moment. Go for those eleven-second therapeutic hugs I always write about, remembering that the "huggee" is somebody very special in your life. Happy Sunday...or Monday on the other side of the world. "My Man - Wishing you a cool Yule!" Big Daddy Blair by Skip Cohen It's hard for me to believe that I still find photographs I haven't shared over the last 10+ years of Throwback Thursdays. I think of my lifetime stash of photos as one giant priceless treasure. Whenever I open the "vault," the memories flow. I picked this set of images of Don Blair, family, and friends because it's that time of year when he'd be wishing everybody a "cool Yule." When I lower my voice and say the quote above out loud, I can picture him with that big smile and an even bigger love for the craft, his family, and friends. The year is 1999 at WPPI, and we were the keynote presentation before the conference started. The images are all thanks to Bambi Cantrell. Since I've described the program so many times in the past, here's the short version: We were introducing our first book together, Don Blair's Guide to Posing and Lighting Body Parts. We surprised Don with a few hundred people all wearing red berets! The program followed the layout of the book, even using the same models. The following day, on the convention floor, everybody was able to pick up their advance-ordered copy. Marathon Press did an outstanding job printing the books. Don and I flew to Nebraska and were in the plant as the first pages came off the press. Everything was delivered right on time, as promised—something that rarely happens these days! If you haven't gone off today in search of your throwbacks, take the time. It's the perfect reminder of the value of photography—stopping time and turning the intangible into memories you can hold in your hand. This is where Jodi Picoult's quote about photographs is so relevant: This is what I like about photographs.
They're proof that once, even if just for a heartbeat, everything was perfect! by Skip Cohen It's Hump Day, two weeks before the holidays. For most people it's the busiest time of year. Everyone gets so wrapped up in the holidays, that too many of us miss the magic! GIVE IN TO THE MAGIC Give yourself permission to pay more attention to the birds chirping. Eat the marshmallows out of the cereal box without judging yourself. Look for the rainbows after a storm, and then take a picture of them for posterity. Feel the cool breeze on a hot day, and say thank you. Enjoy a glass of wine in the afternoon. Savor each solitary moment of this life, they are all you have. I've written a lot about the routine that Sheila and I established many years ago - reading something motivational to each other every morning. The piece above from Cyndie Spiegel, although her definition of "magic" seemed a little light, was the perfect reminder of how much I miss when I allow the craziness of life to set the pace.
It takes practice to step away from the chaos of business and life, but as a work in progress, I'm proof that it can be done. It all starts with your mindset and the determination not to miss anything that helps create a smile. Just like holding focus with your camera - giving into the magic all around us is about holding focus on our hearts. Happy Hump Day - make it one to remember! |
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