Intro by Skip Cohen For the last few weeks we've had several great guest posts from the crew at Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. This series started with a guest post from the mother of a baby who was photographed thanked to NILMDTS's, Vicki Zoller. In this new guest post Cliff Lawson, President and member of the NILMDTS Board of Directors, shares the concerns he had before joining the organization. He's very open about what kept holding him back, keeping him from getting involved. Over and over again, I've heard the same scenario, but here's the very cool thing about this. I also hear an amazing story from every photographer who gets involved about how they felt after their first shoot. Over and over again they question why they didn't get involved sooner and then express, often with a tear or two, the incredibly genuine feeling they had helping a family get through one of the most difficult situations any family can face. March is recruitment month and NILMDTS needs photographers. Learning how you can get involved is just a click away. This is the most rewarding thing I have ever done with my camera. I am Cliff Lawson, a portrait photographer in Parker, Colorado. I am also an affiliate photographer for Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep and currently the president of the board of directors for that organization. My involvement began a little over five years ago after a conversation with another affiliate photographer. He encouraged me to check out the organization, which I did and asked myself the same question many of you would ask yourself, “Could I do this?” While I was certainly drawn to the mission, I was hesitant…well, you know…the unknown. I spent the next ten days or two weeks pulling virtual daisy petals—I’ll do it—I won’t do it—I’ll do it—I won’t do it. Along about that time I was getting a haircut and mentioned this to the lady cutting my hair—what’s left of it—and she pointed her finger at me and said. “You need to do this. I lost my son 20 years ago and they never let me see him. I would give anything to have what you will be able to give those families.” I applied the next day. So looking back, I know the only reason I hesitated to apply was a degree of fear. But fear of what? Exactly…the fear of what. I didn’t know what. The what was unknown and that is what we all tend to fear—the unknown. I bring that up because when we talk to photographers about becoming an affiliate, we hear the same thing over and over, “What you guys do is wonderful but I could never do it. I’m too emotional” or “I can’t do that, it is too hard” or quite often, “Oh I couldn’t do that because I would cry.” To address that last one, crying is OK. This is a sad situation and expressing your feelings along with the family is normal and certainly acceptable. However many—probably most—photographers will tell you that they are so busy doing the session, that they are way too busy to get too emotional. When you are concerned about getting the poses, making sure the lighting is right, and doing all the things you would do for ANY portrait session, there is little time for getting too involved in the emotion of the moment.
I will admit that I can get emotional during the editing/processing of the images, but it is all worth it when I send out those images of that family’s baby that never made it home. I am giving them something only our profession can give. Truly, it is priceless. Let me cut to the chase here: WE NEED more photographers. The demand outstrips our ability to serve. You do not need to be a professional, but you do need to do professional-level work. (Some of our best affiliates are advanced amateurs.) The ability to use a flash in a VERY dark room is a requirement. While many sessions are daytime with window light, some are in the NICU with light that is marginal, at best. We require you submit images demonstrating your skill with both natural light and auxiliary lighting. We need to know you can deliver portrait-quality images. PLEASE consider applying and helping us give back to so many families who need our help.
16 Comments
Linda Spencer
3/24/2014 12:01:40 pm
Hello Cliff,
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Penny
3/25/2014 04:51:32 pm
Linda, I understand completely. I lost two babies 30 years ago and I wish I had pictures. No cameras were allowed. Mine both lived for a few hours, so at least I had some time with them. We have ones of my grandson and those are such a blessing. Bless you - and all mommies of angels who received their wings too soon.
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3/30/2014 03:39:31 pm
A photo is worth more than all the money in the world and more.
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Debora Lorentson
4/1/2014 01:18:41 am
Ladies, I'm so very sorry that you were unable to hold and say goodbye to your children. I, too, lost a set of twin girls in 1985, but now I know how fortunate I was to have been able to hold them, and say goodbye, and also the nurses in the NICU took Polaroids for me. While they aren't the best photos in the world, they still mean the world to me.
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Sarah
3/24/2014 04:06:42 pm
I would encourage any photographer who is considering volunteering for this organization to please, please do it! It means so much!
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Tony Manseau
3/24/2014 04:17:34 pm
Sign me up. Armature with pro equipment, grew up with a dad who was a photographer in the navy during ww2
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3/25/2014 08:39:45 am
Tony,
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3/25/2014 02:24:54 am
I have been debating this exact issue so this helps a lot. I am a UK based photographer so know my services are very much needed but the fact I am a single mum with little time and the fear of my feelings getting the better of me have thus far put me into the 'daisy' mode.
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3/25/2014 08:43:36 am
Lindsay,
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3/25/2014 08:43:53 am
Lindsay,
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3/25/2014 08:44:16 am
Lindsay,
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3/25/2014 08:45:01 am
Lindsay,
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Penny
3/25/2014 04:48:46 pm
Thank you for your work. I am a mommy of two angels that only lived a few hours many, many years ago. I wish I could have had pictures taken - but all I have are the memories in my mind. You are a Godsend and I am thankful there is someone out there to help these families deal with the pain of losing a child.
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Amanda Collins
3/27/2014 07:26:15 am
I can do this. I can help. I have been working towards my BS in Photography for 31/2 years now- a few classes away from graduation. Biomedical photography is my goal, but I could do this. I have two children of my own, one with special needs. I know what the moments the parents want to capture. I know those perfect moments that you will never get back, I know that feeling of fear, doubt, anger, frustration, love, hope, peace... I will capture it all! How do I get involved and give back to those who need to hold on just a little longer? Please contact me via email and let me know.
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Clifford Lawson
3/28/2014 08:49:16 am
Amanda,
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Kim Burt
4/2/2014 12:01:17 pm
we took pictures of our baby,now looking back ,am am so glad we did.I love to look at her pictures.
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