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Don't Let Fear Hold You Back from Giving Back - Guest Post by Cliff Lawson

3/23/2014

16 Comments

 
Intro by Skip Cohen

For the last few weeks we've had several great guest posts from the crew at Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. This series started with a guest post from the mother of a baby who was photographed thanked to NILMDTS's, Vicki Zoller.

In this new guest post Cliff Lawson, President and member of the NILMDTS Board of Directors, shares the concerns he had before joining the organization. He's very open about what kept holding him back, keeping him from getting involved.

Over and over again, I've heard the same scenario, but here's the very cool thing about this. I also hear an amazing story from every photographer who gets involved about how they felt after their first shoot.
Over and over again they question why they didn't get involved sooner and then express, often with a tear or two, the incredibly genuine feeling they had helping a family get through one of the most difficult situations any family can face.

March is recruitment month and NILMDTS needs photographers. Learning how you can get involved is just a click away.


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This is the most rewarding thing I have ever done with my camera.

I am Cliff Lawson, a portrait photographer in Parker, Colorado. I am also an affiliate photographer for Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep and currently the president of the board of directors for that organization.

My involvement began a little over five years ago after a conversation with another affiliate photographer. He encouraged me to check out the organization, which I did and asked myself the same question many of you would ask yourself, “Could I do this?” While I was certainly drawn to the mission, I was hesitant…well, you know…the unknown. I spent the next ten days or two weeks pulling virtual daisy petals—I’ll do it—I won’t do it—I’ll do it—I won’t do it.

Along about that time I was getting a haircut and mentioned this to the lady cutting my hair—what’s left of it—and she pointed her finger at me and said. “You need to do this. I lost my son 20 years ago and they never let me see him. I would give anything to have what you will be able to give those families.”  I applied the next day.

So looking back, I know the only reason I hesitated to apply was a degree of fear. But fear of what?

Exactly…the fear of what. I didn’t know what. The what was unknown and that is what we all tend to fear—the unknown.

I bring that up because when we talk to photographers about becoming an affiliate, we hear the same thing over and over, “What you guys do is wonderful but I could never do it. I’m too emotional” or “I can’t do that, it is too hard” or quite often, “Oh I couldn’t do that because I would cry.”

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To address that last one, crying is OK. This is a sad situation and expressing your feelings along with the family is normal and certainly acceptable. However many—probably most—photographers will tell you that they are so busy doing the session, that they are way too busy to get too emotional. When you are concerned about getting the poses, making sure the lighting is right, and doing all the things you would do for ANY portrait session, there is little time for getting too involved in the emotion of the moment.

I will admit that I can get emotional during the editing/processing of the images, but it is all worth it when I send out those images of that family’s baby that never made it home. I am giving them something only our profession can give. Truly, it is priceless.

Let me cut to the chase here: WE NEED more photographers. The demand outstrips our ability to serve. You do not need to be a professional, but you do need to do professional-level work. (Some of our best affiliates are advanced amateurs.) The ability to use a flash in a VERY dark room is a requirement. While many sessions are daytime with window light, some are in the NICU with light that is marginal, at best.

We require you submit images demonstrating your skill with both natural light and auxiliary lighting. We need to know you can deliver portrait-quality images.

PLEASE consider applying and helping us give back to so many families who need our help.
16 Comments
Linda Spencer
3/24/2014 12:01:40 pm

Hello Cliff,
I would like to thank you for what you do. I, like your hairdresser, lost a baby 36 years ago. Things were different then and the baby was whisked away before I had any chance to see her. To have a picture would even now be the answer to my prayers. I am sure the parents treasure these memories and the gift of these photos their entire life. Bless you!

Reply
Penny
3/25/2014 04:51:32 pm

Linda, I understand completely. I lost two babies 30 years ago and I wish I had pictures. No cameras were allowed. Mine both lived for a few hours, so at least I had some time with them. We have ones of my grandson and those are such a blessing. Bless you - and all mommies of angels who received their wings too soon.

Reply
Abigail Herring link
3/30/2014 03:39:31 pm

A photo is worth more than all the money in the world and more.

Reply
Debora Lorentson
4/1/2014 01:18:41 am

Ladies, I'm so very sorry that you were unable to hold and say goodbye to your children. I, too, lost a set of twin girls in 1985, but now I know how fortunate I was to have been able to hold them, and say goodbye, and also the nurses in the NICU took Polaroids for me. While they aren't the best photos in the world, they still mean the world to me.

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Sarah
3/24/2014 04:06:42 pm

I would encourage any photographer who is considering volunteering for this organization to please, please do it! It means so much!
Our daughter Autumn passed away just a few hours before we went to the hospital to be induced. The photographer who came to take pictures of us and our daughter slept in her clothes waiting for the call, which came at 1:30am after I had delivered our daughter.
I treasure the photos this kind, sweet, respectful photographer took- they are the only images we have of our daughter and one of the few tangible items we have to remember her by.
The photographer did cry, but that made her human. What really moved me was when she asked our permission' 'to take pictures of our precious baby girl'.
Thank you to everyone who volunteers for NILMDTS! What you do is so important!

Reply
Tony Manseau
3/24/2014 04:17:34 pm

Sign me up. Armature with pro equipment, grew up with a dad who was a photographer in the navy during ww2

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Cliff Lawson link
3/25/2014 08:39:45 am

Tony,

We would love to have you sign up. We will need five images in natural light and five image using auxiliary light (speedlights/strobes). This is all covered in the application process. Just go to www.nilmdts.org and under the Photographers link is: Become an Affiliate. Click on the Apply Now button.

Before you do that , be sure you have chosen the images you wish to upload and follow the instructions for sizing those images. Choose careful as we expect these 10 images to be 10 of your best.

Reply
lindsay white link
3/25/2014 02:24:54 am

I have been debating this exact issue so this helps a lot. I am a UK based photographer so know my services are very much needed but the fact I am a single mum with little time and the fear of my feelings getting the better of me have thus far put me into the 'daisy' mode.

Reply
Cliff Lawson link
3/25/2014 08:43:36 am

Lindsay,
As I pointed out in the blog post, our feelings are secondary to doing the job that needs to be done, so I really believe that is a non-issue. Your available time, however, is a real issue and only you can decide if this will work for you. Remember that even if you only do a few sessions a year, those are families that will have something they would not have had if it were not for you.

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Cliff Lawson link
3/25/2014 08:43:53 am

Lindsay,
As I pointed out in the blog post, our feelings are secondary to doing the job that needs to be done, so I really believe that is a non-issue. Your available time, however, is a real issue and only you can decide if this will work for you. Remember that even if you only do a few sessions a year, those are families that will have something they would not have had if it were not for you.

Reply
Cliff Lawson link
3/25/2014 08:44:16 am

Lindsay,

As I pointed out in the blog post, our feelings are secondary to doing the job that needs to be done, so I really believe that is a non-issue. Your available time, however, is a real issue and only you can decide if this will work for you. Remember that even if you only do a few sessions a year, those are families that will have something they would not have had if it were not for you.

Reply
Cliff Lawson link
3/25/2014 08:45:01 am

Lindsay,
As I pointed out in the blog post, our feelings are secondary to doing the job that needs to be done, so I really believe that is a non-issue. Your available time, however, is a real issue and only you can decide if this will work for you. Remember that even if you only do a few sessions a year, those are families that will have something they would not have had if it were not for you.

Reply
Penny
3/25/2014 04:48:46 pm

Thank you for your work. I am a mommy of two angels that only lived a few hours many, many years ago. I wish I could have had pictures taken - but all I have are the memories in my mind. You are a Godsend and I am thankful there is someone out there to help these families deal with the pain of losing a child.

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Amanda Collins
3/27/2014 07:26:15 am

I can do this. I can help. I have been working towards my BS in Photography for 31/2 years now- a few classes away from graduation. Biomedical photography is my goal, but I could do this. I have two children of my own, one with special needs. I know what the moments the parents want to capture. I know those perfect moments that you will never get back, I know that feeling of fear, doubt, anger, frustration, love, hope, peace... I will capture it all! How do I get involved and give back to those who need to hold on just a little longer? Please contact me via email and let me know.

Reply
Clifford Lawson
3/28/2014 08:49:16 am

Amanda,

Fantastic. Just go to www.nilmdts.org and under the Photographers link is: Become an Affiliate. Click on the Apply Now button.

We will need to see 5 images taken in natural light and 5 with flash. Converting one or two to B&W is a good idea. We do not want to see blown highlights or muddy, blocked up shadows. Nothing with focus errors.

You may email me at CliffLawson(at)mac.com with any questions.

Reply
Kim Burt
4/2/2014 12:01:17 pm

we took pictures of our baby,now looking back ,am am so glad we did.I love to look at her pictures.

Reply

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