Who am I?

by Skip Cohen

It's Sunday, and I never write about business. Reflections is about life outside of what we do for a living. This morning, I started out thinking about current events, but it was too much of a rant*. Plus, it's an abused topic we're all tired of hearing about - so here's where my mind went next.

First, after nearly sixteen years of blogging and at least ten of those years doing Sunday Morning Reflections, it's impossible not to revisit topics. Second, just because I've written about something in the past doesn't make it less relevant today.

Years ago, I discovered the quote above. I've used it dozens of times at retirement parties, in eulogies, and in blog posts. I define the statement as everything we experience and the people in our lives shape who we are today. Each of us is a giant puzzle. Every piece of our "puzzle" comes from someone or something in our past, combined with our own twist and style.

Sheila called me on something absurd I did recently, and simply said, "That's so Ralph!" We both laughed, and I thought about how much I'm like my Dad, and not always the good stuff.  

Now, think about who you are today. Think about things you like, hate, feelings you have when doing something different...the list goes on and on. In every case, you'll find you can trace it back to something or someone in your past.

There's an expression in psychology, "Hysterical is historical," which means things that upset you can be traced back to something in your past. I'm not here to play amateur shrink, but it is interesting when you start thinking about how you approach the challenges in life today.

Think of everybody you've ever met, and everything you've ever done as another piece of the puzzle - put them all together, and there you are. For example, when my good friend Frank passed away several years ago, I spoke at his memorial service and quoted Tennyson. Frank had become the older brother I never had. Frequently spending time with him, I admired his style and the amount I learned just by knowing him.

Since most of my readership is from the imaging side of life, think about how you light a portrait. Your style is a combination of the influence of artists you admire, classes you've taken, videos you've watched and then all combined with your own twist — much like a cover artist modifying a great song with their own changes.

I hope you'll take a few minutes now and think about who you are today and how you got here. There are dozens of people and events that have made their contributions to everything you do. The best part of an exercise like this is realizing that people you've loved and lost never really leave us - their immortality is inescapable and an integral part of who we've become.

Wishing everybody a terrific day ahead. Take the time and think about the people in your life, going back to when you were a kid. You'll find you can connect so many of the dots that make you who you are. As always, go for those eleven-second therapeutic hugs with the people who mean most to you, realizing they're a nonstop contributor to your own personal puzzle.

Happy Sunday...or Monday on the other side of the world!

* And about that original rant...if any of us ran our businesses and did our jobs the way the government is doing theirs, we'd be fired! I would like to know if at tax time next year I can tell the IRS, "Sorry, Sheila and I haven't agreed on our budget for the new year, and paying my taxes is on indefinite hold!"