Looking Back on a Great Sunday Memory

by Skip Cohen
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It's a typical Sunday morning, and as usual, I was excited to sit down at my computer and write Reflections. I rarely know what I'm going to write about, and today is no exception. If you've followed me for even a short amount of time, then you know I often cross the line into one of blogging's biggest taboos - getting personal. 

My topic, whether it's the cloudy day and rain coming in or the state of the world, evokes a sense of sadness within me. Everyone who's lost someone they love can identify with what I'm feeling - I miss my folks. My Dad was always my best buddy, and while my Mom and I were so often at odds, the time we got together in her last years, I cherish. I watched her and Sheila become close, to the point where Sheila describes her as the best mother she ever had.

Alzheimer's is a horrible disease, but I watched as Sheila's relationship with my mother became closer and closer. The key ingredient was simply Sheila's acceptance of everything Mom said. If Mom announced the sky was green, Sheila simply agreed. Arguing wasn't going to accomplish anything. Besides the beauty of the statement about the sky, was often accompanied by a description of what a beautiful day it was, and usually a story related to something that Mom loved as a child. Sheila found Mom's beauty through the storm. If Sheila had been singing at the time, it would have been from Annie, "...the sun will come out tomorrow!"

On Sunday nights, the kitchen/dining room in the complex where my folks lived was always closed. So Sunday became the day we did something a little different for dinner. On one of those weekends, I bought a small, inexpensive beach grill and a bag of charcoal. We surprised my folks and set up a barbecue picnic in an area behind their high-rise, complete with music. We had everything set up - from the steak on the grill, to the rest of the meal we had already prepared at home, when Dad wheeled Mom around the corner.

Take care of all your memories. For you cannot relive them.
Bob Dylan

Sometimes there's no explanation for the timing of great memories, and this is one of them! But those memories are enhanced thanks to photographs. Remember, I sat down today not knowing what I wanted to write about, but after thinking back to Sunday dinners with Mom and Dad, I went off in search of old pictures - in this case, from 2012. 

Here's my point this morning - great memories only have value if, like all those old photographs tucked away in a random drawer in your home, they're brought out now and then and savored. Looking back at the pictures above, I can hear my folks laughing. Mom was so excited to have a picnic and time with her family, while Dad loved anything that made Mom smile...and dinner wasn't half bad either!

It's bittersweet that my folks are gone physically, but not in our hearts. In spite of Mom's Alzheimer's, we made the best of it and still managed to squeeze out some great memories. Even through a tear here and there as I look back, I'm grateful for the time I had with them, and especially the way they loved Sheila coming into my life.

One of the best ways to make yourself happy in the present is to recall happy times from the past.
Photos are a great memory-prompt, and because we tend to take photos of happy occasions,
they weight our memories to the good.
Gretchen Rubin

Wishing everyone a day ahead with time to make new memories, while also appreciating the ones from the past. While you can never go back, the memories that make you smile, both inside and out, are your exclusive treasures to cherish. Go for those eleven-second hugs with a special memory-maker in your life and cherish the people you love. You can't stop time, but you can turn up the "volume" on great memories, so much so that they feel like they just happened yesterday!

Happy Sunday...or Monday on the other side of the world.