Hump Day Sarcasm!

by Skip Cohen

​Based on the way the "kids" are behaving in the government these days, I have a list of responses I'd like to share. It's just for my personal therapy and I need to vent a little. Like most of you, I can't believe what's going on...in fact, every day there's one more thing I catch in the news that's simply embarrassing. 

• Like the Republican party, we've decided to redistrict our residence, making the majority of our home a non-profit and limiting our tax exposure.
• I've declared the numbers reported by Florida Power and Light, which determine our monthly bill, are rigged. 
• The numbers used to determine our property taxes are also incorrect, and we've demanded that the county tax assessor be fired.
• Since we live on the Gulf, I'm declaring the area within a mile of our residence the Gulf of Skip & Sheila.
• Belle, one of our two pups, is a Havanese, and technically, her parents were immigrants with an ancestral line going back to Cuba. Therefore, we've changed her breed to be a Boston Terrier, so she's not deported.
• We've established a tariff for emotional stress on all incoming calls, mostly telemarketers, and will be requiring a purchase order confirmation before speaking with the caller.
• The corner of our yard reserved for the small butterfly garden is currently filled with flowers and butterflies. However, to follow suit with Washington, the garden will be filled in with concrete and renamed after my wife, Sheila.

And there you have it...a few minutes of sarcasm connected to all the nonsense that's in the news. Every day, it becomes increasingly unbelievable. 

​Happy Hump Day!

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