Holding Focus on the Quality of Your Life

Life is long if you know how to use it.
Seneca

by Skip Cohen

I'm not sure how long ago it started, but Sheila and I both have motivational books with daily passages we share every morning after breakfast. We started with Melody Beattie's readings many years ago, and our routine has evolved to include books by a variety of motivational writers. This year, my book was The Daily Stoic, which, at times, is a little difficult to get into.

However, yesterday's meditation really hit home:

They say age is just a number, but to some people it's a very important one -- otherwise, women wouldn't lie about being younger, and ambitious young men wouldn't lie about being older. Rich people and health nuts spend billions of dollars in an effort to move the expiration date from around seventy-eight years to hopefully forever.

The number of years we manage to eke out doesn't matter, only what those years are composed of. Sadly most people waste the life they've been given. Only when it is too late do they try to compensate for that waste by vainly hoping to put more time on the clock.

Looking back over the years, there were plenty of times that I wasted various aspects of my life and opportunities. Whatever issues were eating up the clock always seemed so relevant. Now, years later, looking back, they seem so irrelevant.

They say that with age comes wisdom. But is it really wisdom or just the variety of experiences that come into our lives the longer we're on the planet? I do know that I'm not interested in putting "more time on the clock," just the joy of appreciating everything and everyone in my life today.

I've written a lot about aging over the last few years. As I've gotten older, I've come to appreciate days when I don't creak for the first ten minutes of waking up in the morning. It's true: "age is just a number," but as we get older, so do all our friends... and the older we get, the more friends we lose.

With each loss, there's always a period of reflection, filled with memories and what we've learned on life's journey, thanks to the departed. For me, and I'm guessing many of you, it starts with surprise and sometimes shock, then come the tears, followed by the memories and most often smiles and especially stories from the past.

The closer the friendship with whoever we've lost, the bigger the hole in our hearts, and the more stories and thoughts we share as we all take the same generic trip down Memory Lane. While sadness is always an ingredient, it brings with it such prolific memories and, yes, wisdom.

Here's my point this morning... don't waste time worrying about the past; you can't change it. Appreciate your "right now," and the love for great friends and family who create a never-ending supply of memories and that contribute to building your outlook on life.

Abraham Lincoln wrote: It's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years.

I'm proud to be at the age where I'm considered an old fart. I'm also proud of the life Sheila and I have built together that includes some pretty remarkable friends and two knucklehead pups, Lucy and Belle. It's not always easy or fun, but it's a life well-lived and loaded with an endless supply of memories.
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Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman, authors of the The Daily Stoic, went on to write:

Use today. Use every day. Make yourself satisfied with what you have been given.

Wishing all of you a day ahead that's filled with memory-making events. It's a busy hectic time of year, but there's always time for hugs and an appreciation for the time we've each been given. I know it sounds pretty sappy, but don't lose focus on those things that make your heart soar and put a smile on your face. Always go for those eleven-second therapeutic hugs I've written about for years with the people you love the most. Last but not least, cherish everything you have!

Happy Sunday...or Monday if you're on the other side of the world.