Everyone Has a Story!

I am a part of all that I have met.
Alfred Lord Tennyson

by Skip Cohen

Sheila and I were talking last night about today's post. With all the protests around the world yesterday, I was feeling compelled to write about "We the People," but I knew I couldn't do so without sounding like a rant. Plus, I'd only be adding to the NOISE you hear all day, every day. She reminded me that my readers stop by on Sundays to read something that's not in the news; has nothing to do with marketing; is more personal and outside the norm.

The quote above is one of my favorites, reminding us that each of us is a composite of all the people who have come and gone in our lives, combined with all our experiences.

Twenty-nine years ago today, Sheila's brother Alan was killed in a road-rage incident in Tucson. Thirty days earlier two of her brothers, Wally and Jimmy, were killed in a car accident. A year or two later, her father died, and after that, her mother. Sheila lost five family members over five years.

But sharing this story isn't about her enduring tragedy; it's about how it made her the warrior she is. Through the entire process of grief, she never lost her zest for life, and belief in God. Everything that's happened in her life has made her who she is today.

At a time when most of us would have would have fallen apart, she got stronger, determined not to let tragedy grind her down. That's what became the foundation for our friendship, which later became our love story. It was her never-ending appreciation for life that helped set the pace for building our relationship.

Think about your own experiences and the people who have come into your life. It's their impact that's made you who you are today. Based on a poem by Brian Chalker, there's a sappy quote that people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. In my case, Sheila came into my life for a reason and stayed a lifetime.

They say that with age comes wisdom...I'm not sure it's really wisdom or simply lessons that can only come from longevity. It's our capacity to learn from the past and, in turn, enhance our journey going forward. And while it's a sad day to look back on her losses that started in 1997, it's the memories of the good times that hold the focus best.

When we built the water feature in our butterfly garden, (pictured above) I suggested the three monoliths represent Sheila's three brothers. Over a year ago, we added the sculpture of the two boys playing, representing two other brothers she lost in recent years. Together in the garden, loaded with milkweed and Monarch butterflies all summer long, the "Boyz," whom I never knew, maintain a reminder that love doesn't disappear when somebody passes. There's a great line from the movie "Tuesdays with Morrie"...Death ends a life not a relationship.

Wishing everybody a day ahead filled with time to look back on the memories of people who came into your life and brought with them something that stayed with you -- some aspect that helped make you who you are today. That old line about "it takes a village" couldn't be more appropriate when you look at why you are who you are. For those people in your life who stayed a lifetime, go for those eleven-second therapeutic hugs I always write about.

And to all of you, thank you!  Whether you're here for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, you are part of my story. Your inspiration and friendship are helping to navigate an upside-down world together.

Happy Sunday...or Monday if you’re on the other side of the world.