Cherishing Trips Down Memory Lane

Never. We never lose our loved ones.
They accompany us; they don't disappear from our lives.
We are merely in different rooms.
Paulo Coelho

by Skip Cohen

As I wrote last Sunday, I planned to cut back on things I was doing, but dropping Sunday Morning Reflections was simply a mistake. Over the years, I've talked about Reflections being therapeutic in taking my thoughts out of business and marketing. Input from many of you suggested the same thing...so, I'm back and like McDonald's..."I'm Lovin' it!"

This past week, my second post in the "You're Not Alone" Chronicles was published on the Alzheimer's Organization blog for South Florida. Writing these posts is a labor of love. Each time I write about the topic of dealing with my mother's Alzheimer's, it takes me back to the challenges and the memories. When I read yesterday's quote of the day in Lou Mitchell's book, it fit so well with what I've been feeling.

I miss family and friends who have passed away over the years. However, there are times when I can feel their presence, so much so that it's as if they're right next to me. It often begins with old photographs that evoke memories. Then it moves to other activities. My mother, for example, loved corn on the cob; my Dad loved grilled onions; and my grandmother had a raspberry patch.

My mother never had corn the way we make it on the grill today, and I smile thinking about her every time I'm playing Grill Master. We talk about my Dad every time we're grilling onions. And when I bite into a raspberry, I always comment that it takes me back to being a kid.

Whenever my grandmother sent me out to pick berries, she knew I'd eat them almost as fast as I picked them. I remember one time coming back from the garden with only a couple of dozen berries in the bowl. When my grandmother asked me where the rest were, I said, "They weren't ripe yet!" Meanwhile, I had on a white t-shirt, and the collar and front were completely red. I looked like I'd been in a fight with Freddy Krueger!

Here's my point this morning - it hurts to lose loved ones. Everyone handles loss differently, but there comes a point where the good memories outweigh the sadness. It's bittersweet, and you can't always shake the tears, but if you listen to your heart, you can savor the memories.

Alzheimer's took my mother years before she passed away. In the process, we lost my Dad a little too, he was caught in his own sadness and frustration. But this is where and why I'm such a photo junkie with thousands of throwbacks, each one igniting memories that make me smile, laugh, and sometimes cry.

True to the quote that started this post, loved ones never disappear. Their energy, carried through all the memories, is around us all the time. They're a part of us, and as Paulo Coelho wrote, they're merely in another room. I'm not suggesting it doesn't still hurt, but at the same time, thinking of lost loved ones a room away, is a great perspective and foundation for pulling great memories out of your personal archives.

Wishing everybody a day ahead that's filled with the people you love the most. And for loved ones you've lost, take a few minutes and think back to one great moment from the past - a memory that makes you smile. Those eleven-second hugs I always write about aren't just for the loved ones with you today; they can also be for wonderful memories of special people you've lost...and there's no eleven-second time limit when you're parked on Memory Lane!

Happy Sunday...or Monday if you're on the other side of the world. ​